Part 1 – dew and the Mist

 

Part 1: dew and the Mist 

‘Kusum, get up fast!’ Mother’s high-pitched shout forced Kusum to open her eyes. She glanced at her wristwatch and was aghast to notice that it was just 5 am in the morning. She closed her eyes but mother again shouted, ‘Kusum, don’t be a spoilt child. Get up.’

She was now forced to open her eyes and sit on the bed, confused over mother’s urgency to wake her so early in the morning. Mother came and patted on her face, ‘Kusum, today few guests are coming to see you for marriage. Change your dress and get ready fast.’

Kusum eyes popped out in shock, and she almost jumped out of the bed, ‘WHAT…. Maa, you know it very well  that I am not interested in getting married so soon.’ She brushed aside her mother and walked away, but then she saw her father standing near the door. She softened her tone, ’Papaji, you know it very well, I don’t want to marry so early.’

Her father came closer, held her hand and made her sit on the bed. He then looked into her eyes, and said, ‘Kusum, why don’t you understand? Such a good proposal has come for you. They are one of the richest families in Delhi. Last month Indira Devi had seen you at a wedding. She herself called us, and has sent marriage for her eldest grandson.’

‘But Papaji why me? Why not Bindiya, who is elder to me?’ and tears started flowing out.

Her father took a deep breath, ‘Kusum, you very well know our financial condition. How can we let go of such a good proposal? And then there is not much age difference between you and Bindiya.’

She was not convinced, what about her dreams? She wiped away her tears and pleaded, ‘But Papaji, I want to study further. You very well know how much I want to become a Doctor.’

Her father smiled, ‘Child, why are you thinking that you won’t be able to study after marriage? They are very wonderful people. I believe surely they would allow you to study.’ He then paused and looked at her helplessly, ‘Kusum you know it very well that I am not in a position to fulfil any of your dreams.’

Kusum was not convinced, she again pleaded, ‘I want assurance that I can complete my education.’

Her father abruptly got up, and said, ‘No arguments child, get ready fast.’

Kusum realized the situation was serious. She had never ever defied her father’s decision. Tears started flowing, spreading the kajal on her creamy cheeks. She ran to her mother and hugged her tightly. Kusum kept crying, and her mother silently stroked her hair.

After a while mother said, ‘Kusum, you very well know our financial condition. You have two more sisters to get married. Please don’t make things difficult for us. Get ready fast. They will be coming soon.’

‘No, I am not getting married.’ Kusum angrily shouted at her mother.

Her mother then helplessly looked at Bindiya who had entered the room, ’Bindiya, why don’t you make Kusum understand it.’

Bindiya nodded and took Kusum out of the room. They went to their Study and locked the door. Kusum hugged Bindiya and started crying loudly.

Bindiya tried to calm her down, ‘Kusum, listen. Don’t cry. I think our parents are right. All the time they worry about the marriage of their three daughters. Why don’t you meet the guy and then decide?’

Kusum looked at Bindiya sceptically. Bindiya tried to pacify her, ‘Kusum, what control a woman has on her life? Her life revolves around her responsibilities.’

‘I don’t agree with you.’ Kusum angrily shot back.

‘Kusum, try to understand our parents’ position. They have no money to marry any of their daughters and this proposal has come on its own.’

The truth hurt her. Yes! Bindiya was right. Bindiya always had a thoughtful analysis of the situations. But Kusum was not yet ready to give up. ‘Why me? Why not you? You are elder to me.’

‘Does it matter, Kusum? We must think about our parents.’

Kusum again started crying, ‘Bindiya, truly speaking, I am scared.’

‘We all are scared of any change but every beginning brings a dawning experience.’ Bindu’s eyes twinkled.

Kusum was still not convinced. Bindiya then embraced her, and said, ’Kusum, guests will arrive anytime. So get ready. Finally, it would be your decision to marry.’

Kusum was confused, unwillingly she nodded.

The next few hours just went by in deciding the dress to wear, to what sweets to be made and cleaning the house. Both mother and father were anxious and running around to make sure everything to be as perfect as it could be.

Kusum showed no interest and all the time she stayed inside her room. She heard the shout of her mother that guests have arrived. Soon Bindiya came to take her to meet the guests.

She could hardly believe the situation she was in. Just a few hours back she was distressed with all kinds of ideas crossing her mind. But now she was sitting in front of Indira Devi. Through the corner of her eyes, she looked at her father who appeared very anxious. His eyes requested her to be calm, and she nodded softly to assure him.

Suddenly someone amongst the guests shouted, ‘Nihaar, don’t you want to talk to her?’

Curious Kusum lifted her eyes and looked at the man sitting beside Indira Devi., answering her questions here and then. She was horrified to find him staring at her. For a moment their eyes met, quickly she lowered her eyes to avoid his gaze. She could hear whispers and murmurs as everyone discussed. Finally, everyone left the room, leaving two of them alone.

She waited for him to start the conversation.

After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat.

‘What is your name?’

‘Kusumita…’ She softly murmured without lifting her eyes.

Again, there was a gush of silence. He then cleared his throat, and said, ‘Kusumita, I hope your father must have told you everything about me and my family. Do you want to know anything more?’

She shook her head.

‘Are you willing for this marriage?’ He again asked her.

‘NO….! NO….! NO….!’ She wanted to tell him loudly but she sealed her lips. She knew what her Papaji wanted, what her Maa wanted, and what everyone wanted.

……….and she said ‘Yes.’

He didn’t ask her anything further.

For a moment she wanted to see him, the man whom she will marry, the man with whom she will spend her life and she lifted her eyes and found he was probing her intensely and as their eyes met, he shuddered and got up.

Hurriedly he said, ‘I will let my Daadi know about my decision.’ And without looking at her, he walked away.

The hurriedness in his walk made her smile, and she didn’t realize when Bindiya had entered the room.

‘So, who is smiling?’ Bindiya caught her unaware.

‘Bindu, Papaji is right, he seems to be a nice person, he asked for my opinion. There is no reason to be scared.’

Bindiya laughed out heartily, ‘Kusum, trust destiny.’

Kusum immediately felt light and free like a bird.

Soon the guests left. Before leaving, Indira Devi assured her parents that soon she would call them.

With every day passing, her parents grew anxious. She too was curious to know why there was no telephone call from Indira Devi even after a month had passed. But somewhere, she was happy that God has finally listened to her wish of not getting married. But her happiness did not stay longer, as Indira Devi called up. She wanted the marriage to happen as early as possible. Her father was more than eager to decide the date.

Bindiya announced to Kusum about the marriage date. Kusum was in dilemma. On one side, she did not want to marry, but she understood her parent’s constraint. Indira Devi and Nihar appeared to be decent people. With every passing day, she thought about the decision but slowly she too accepted and started preparing for the wedding.

 

Wedding Day

‘Kusum fast, Baraat is at the door but you are not ready yet. Please make it fast.’

She ignored Bindiya’s shout and darkened her kajal once more. Then she looked at herself in the mirror in admiration. Suddenly she could feel ‘Nihaar’s deep black eyes gazing at her approvingly. She then covered her head with the red saree but his eyes were still on her, admiring her and her heart started beating fast. She closed her eyes, the emotions running in her heart were making her dizzy.

 ‘Kusum, please get ready fast or Maa will be very upset.’  

Kusum opened her eyes as Bindiya’s footsteps faded away. Once again she looked at the mirror and smiled, she could feel his eyes smiling back at her.

‘Kusum……………’  

She heard her name called out but didn’t bother to take her eyes off the mirror to look at Jassy who had entered the room like a rolling drum.

Jassy quickly closed the door and came close to her. She hushed, ‘Kusum, I want to tell you something about Nihaar Singh. I have got this information from one of my friends from Delhi. Please, it’s important for you to know.’

Hearing Nihaar’s name, Kusum immediately turned and looked at Jassy with a big question.

Jassy took a moment to grasp her breath, and then said, ‘Kusum, do you know, Nihaar was married earlier also? This is his second marriage.’

‘Married earlier?’ Kusum was shell-shocked, it sounded so weird.

Jassy eyes turned wider, she whispered, ‘And Kusum, you know, everyone says that his first wife died mysteriously. Everyone thinks he was behind her death.’

Jassy continued to babble more information but Kusum could hardly hear anything.

She was thunderstruck. ‘Nihaar was married earlier? And what Jassy said? He was behind his first wife’s death?’ The tears started rolling down. But then she heard Jassy’s loud cry and came out of her thoughts.

Jassy wept loudly, ‘Oh Kusum, I am so worried for you.’

Deciding fast, Kusum wiped away her tears. ‘Jassy, I have to stop the marriage. I cannot let this happen to me. I have to inform Papaji.’ And Kusum sprinted downstairs. She found her father in the room.

He was aghast to see her. ‘Kusum, why are you here at this time? All the guests have arrived. Very soon the wedding would start.’

She quickly closed the door, ‘Papaji, I want to talk to you, very urgent.’

Her father looked at her disapprovingly.

But at the moment she hardly cared for what her father is thinking of. It was very important for him to know the truth about Nihaar.

She stammered, ‘Papaji, you knew that this is his second marriage?’

She waited eagerly, her heart wanted to hear very badly that he had no knowledge about it. But he sighed deeply and avoided looking into her eyes. Her hopes were dashed off. She just couldn’t believe that father knew the truth.

Tears filled in her eyes but then she quickly collected herself. Desperately she again asked, ‘Papaji, do you know that his first wife died mysteriously?’ Her heart wanted to hear badly that at least he didn’t know this but again she was disappointed.

Father showed no concern, ‘Dear, that was an accident, nothing mysterious.’  

She started crying. Her father came closer, took her in his embrace and tried to assure her.

‘Kusum, Nihaar is a nice man, he is much matured. He himself had told me about his first marriage and wanted you to know about it but I was in dilemma. I knew you would surely refuse.’

His guilt-filled moist eyes plead her to understand him. She could see the helplessness in them and she was shell-shocked.

He pleaded, ‘Kusum, Baraat has arrived. We have no option, daughter.’.

She could not believe it. She felt numb and her thoughts completely diffused. This is not marriage for her!  

He again pleaded, ‘Please don’t refuse. Think about your sisters. Think about us.’ He patted her softly and left the room.  

Suddenly the truth hit her – she was trapped, deceived by her own parents. Truly she had no options. She cried out loudly, and lost her consciousness, and fell to the ground. Bindiya rushed in and grabbed her, ‘Kusum, what happened?’

Kusum opened her eyes and slowly told her everything. Bindiya hugged her tightly. With tears soaked eyes, Kusum got up and came out of the room followed by Bindiya.

Like a lifeless statue, Kusum dragged herself to the wedding mandap and sat near the pious fire. Her gaze was fixed on the fire but her mind kept thinking about what had happened just an hour back….!

How could her own parents lie to her? Do they not value her life?

They just want to get rid of her and finish off their duties.

She was filled with resentment, wanted to tear off all the decorations from the Mandap and throw out all the guests. No! Better, she takes that Nihaar Singh out and tells everyone about his truth but she felt so helpless. She looked at him, he too was occupied in deep thoughts. Suddenly their eyes met. His eyes were cold. Uneasiness cruised through her spine. Her heart was heavy with anger and then unexpectedly she felt his face close to her.

He murmured, ‘Are you all right…? Anything troubling you…?’

She shook her head. She was scared for some unknown reason. What kind of man is she marrying? Where life is taking her?

 

Rakhi Sunil Kumar

 

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