For the one who stood by me !

This one’s about him. One who hardly finds any mention in any of my writings and one who hardly ever reads what I write or is bothered at all, one who’s different from me as chalk and cheese, one I’m loggerheads within every little thing but if it comes to one who stood by me, like it or not, it’s him and I guess irrespective of whether he likes it or not, he has stood rock solid.

I got hitched, this fiery independent me was never looking for any ‘supportive’ husband as such, it wasn’t in my scheme of things at all, two independent people getting together, starting a life, love, romance, a new city and a world to explore.

Though initial days I expected, we’d be cooking together, humming songs (come to think of it, in the late twenties was I so dumb?). Soon I knew it wasn’t going to be like that. But what he stressed was – ‘Get a help, we are working, can’t do all the chores’.

It worked quite well with me, though experimenting with different cuisines was something I loved to do; looking back I know how messy I had been and still am, so I sat back and chilled.

With pregnancy, serious as he is, was regular with all doctor visits, ultrasonography etc., though he steered clear off nappy changing, cleaning etc.

I did complain but since he was away and me at my mom’s place, it was almost okay. It was when he was away, and when we didn’t have smartphones for immediate contact and no WIFI at mom’s place, I needed to move to Delhi for some immediate surgery, I could not get in touch with him. I flew with my uncle, my mom, and my infant to Delhi. I had severe jaundice.

As we were touching down at Delhi airport, I knew somehow things are not the same without him. The same city was going to be different without him. Independent me with supporting family but it was me to call the shots with hospital, doctor, infant! In the same hospital where I was coochie-cooed after my daughter’s birth, I struggled from pillar to post for a bed, doctor, yelled in pain while my parents struggled with the wailing infant without her mom. Well, life is different without a husband and a husband who stood by me rock solid.

Little kiddo was growing up, and my stable almost boring job now made me run from one city to another when she was hardly one year old. I was on my own with my help, and we survived like a family. He stood by me, without being physically there and I felt it like never before. Finally, we were together in the capital city after my stint of training and postings.

You live in the D city and do not know how to drive…lo behold. I was struggling! I never imagined I needed to drive, poor imagination I know. So, after some failed attempts at the driving school, my husband was ready with an automatic car for me! And yes, actually he wasn’t mad at me, I was. Still, I am hopeless with driving. He sat beside me, let me wander through the Delhi roads without actually telling me how bad I was! Soon I was driving to the airport from home and he marvelled at his achievement! Well, he deserved it! To date, I feel if I’m stuck with the car, I’ll have to just dial his number and shout!!

Another thing I banked on him- those days Google baba wasn’t there for maps, and I had my own Google, hubby as a map! He’d guide through the turns, the cuts, with all the landmarks (most common one being some daru ka theka!!) and I’d reach.

When we fight and he yells ‘ Tell me one thing I’m good at, before I reply, he bursts in, ‘Don’t give me the crap about roads and maps!!’ That’s how predictable we got over the years!

I had planned my first abroad trip with my girlfriend. He was always busy and after many guilt trips of travelling without a kid and husband, I set foot on the huge jumbo for Singapore! Well, he wasn’t happy, nor was my mother-in-law. Anyway, that was expected! Yet I got my matrix card, all documents in order and of course, with tension writ large over his face, he dropped me at the airport. I swooned over all his travel stories in official tours and now it was me speaking. Though trips are fun with friends, you can’t help missing the two most important pillars of life at every step!

My second trip to Greece was again with my friend, though all the dissent with him over this crazy independent travel freak woman I was, he was the one to drive me to the embassy for a visa, bought patiently my favourite backpack with an almost exorbitant price tag! As my friend struggled with a leg sprain before we were supposed to depart, I was nervous if it going to be Greece and me alone, am I going to be Kangna Queen sort? He stood by me, suppressing his nervousness and boosting my confidence! It was strange, I was so skeptical to spend three euros for a cup of tea which I needed badly for a headache, a ‘do it from him just made me go ahead! This isn’t to show I need his consent, but just a nod or an affirmation goes a long way in life! Be it I struggled with currencies at Dubai airport for a McBurger or my long sessions with the endocrinologist, he was there, maybe a phone call away but so present!!

Huh so many things about him!! Without me trying to sound good about him. Once I start this is where I get to!

Around ten years back, once a car company was doing an interview sort of my automatic car, more I tried to sound curt, hopelessly I was all husband, husband. The lady was putting words in my mouth, ‘Such a supportive husband!’ This was what I didn’t want to get into, I mean husband okay, but supportive…? Wasn’t that his job!!

My household help had once stared in dismay as I had snapped at my mom, ‘I am not listening anything against him, I’m alive because of him, that was of course vented out at the spur of the moment. My help did not forget to tell my hubby, ‘ This is what Didi told her mom!!’ He stared in disbelief and we all were laughing at the end. I didn’t know how I ended up saying that, I had scratched my head!

Well years later, and many dissents and patch-ups later, I know maybe the lady was right! He had stood by me all through and whether he had liked it or not, he had adorned my ‘ independent‘ cap with feathers of his, love, trust and support and I’m almost all ‘me’ with him!

Soma Bhattacharjee

Photo by Jennifer Murray from Pexels