Till now you have read – Kusumita  a young girl from a poor family is forced to marry Nihaar Singh who is heir of a rich family of Delhi.  Soon she comes to know the reason behind their marriage as Nihaar has a dark past, his first wife’s mysterious death. 

In last part 8, you read how Kusum wanted Nihar to explain about Radhika, but Nihar refuses.

Part 9 : dew and the Mist

‘The fearless lioness, and the scared Lion!’

Kusum returned to her room. She closed the door and came near to the window. Her tears started flowing as she looked outside with a heavy heart. It had started raining and she felt the chant of the rain very close to the beats of her heart. She felt the drops, consoling her, ‘See, I fall on the ground, all alone! Small is my life, but I enrich the earth. So do not feel disheartened!’

Kusum wanted to feel the rains and came out in the lawns. It was deep dark in the lawn with a few lights only. She stood in the middle of the ground as the rainwater trailed down her body, drenching her completely. The rainwater entered her eyes, merging with her tears.

Her desperation grew, her heart revolted, and for the first time in her life, she wanted to tell God, that He was unfair to her. She looked up at the sky, and shouted, ‘God, why me…? I never asked for more. All I wanted was a small house, a loving husband whom I can be proud of. I never wanted richness, I never wanted luxury. Now I have all that I never wanted, only I don’t have is my husband’s love. I don’t know if ever he will belong to me. What shall I do? Tell me, please.’

With disgust, she looked at the house which was now her destiny, the place where like a doll she has to spend her life forever. She will never come to know the truth, the truth will never be told to her, she will never come to know whether her husband was wrong anytime, does he have blood on his hands?

Aghast, she just wanted to leave everything and run away to a place where no one could find her. In desperation, her tears started flowing. Suddenly her eyes got stuck at the terrace as she saw some movement. Her mind was alerted. She forgot her woes. Her eyes widened with shock as she saw someone lying on the railing of the terrace…!

She looked at the figure and her heart skipped a beat for the moment as she recognized it. Completely forgetting that a few minutes back she was crying her heart out.

‘Nihar…….’ She shouted and ran towards the house.  Un-stoppable, she just knew she has to reach fast to the terrace, she has to reach him. She forgot her tears, she forgot her shoes, her dupatta…. everything right there. She only remembered that he is in danger and she has to reach him immediately. She rushed inside the house and without taking a breath, started climbing the stairs up to the terrace. She was completely drenched but she hardly cared, she kept praying till she reached the terrace.

The terrace was immersed in darkness but like a fearless lioness she looked for him and found him lying on the railing…soulless…The rains splashed harshly on him. All sizes of bottles were lying around. All worse thoughts crept in. But she collected herself, ran to him and held him tighter. She felt her life returning to her as the warmth of his breath touched her.

‘Nihar, Get up…. you may fall….!’ She shouted her lungs out.

He didn’t respond……

Again, she shouted. In the darkness hardly she could see his face, she felt helpless as he did not respond. Tears started flowing uncontrolled, and she kept shouting louder and louder, soon he heard her, and slowly opened his eyes, recognizing her.

‘Kusumita…!’

She nodded; her eyes shone with happiness.

‘Kusumita, leave me alone. I don’t need anyone.’

‘Please get down from the railing, you will hurt yourself…’

He nodded slowly and managed to get off the railing but then was not able to stand properly. She held him tighter and brought him down, to their room. She then made him lie on the sofa and quickly went to get fresh clothes for him.

He was in deep sleep when she returned. She changed his clothes, covered him with a blanket and sat close to him. She moved her fingers through his wet hair.

He slowly opened his eyes, and said in a very low voice, ‘Kusumita, you are a very nice person.’

She smiled meekly and said, ‘Nihar, if something would have happened to you?’

‘Kusumita, what shall I do? I feel annihilation here; I feel suffocation in this house.’

And he closed his eyes.

She was aghast, this is what she was feeling but he is also feeling the same?

Holding her hands tightly, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Morning

She woke up as soon as the warmth of the rising sun touched her feet, she did not feel like getting up from the bed but then last night events flashed one by one — their heated discussion, the rains and Nihar lying on the railing.  She looked at the Sofa where he had slept last night but now, he was not there.

She felt heaviness around her chest and closed her eyes, in deep contemplation of the events of the night, ‘God, my heart says to believe him, believe his eyes but he is not ready to talk about Radhika. What shall I do? If he had to do anything with Radhika’s death then I cannot stay with him. I have to know the truth.’

Her inner self tried to console her, ‘Kusumita, what can you do? He doesn’t want to talk about her.’

 ‘No, I cannot stay here just because I have all comforts. I want my husband to be truthful. I have to find out the truth myself.’ With this decision, she immediately got up from the bed and freshened up.

She decided to search his belongings.  First his almirah – she took out every piece from his stuff but then couldn’t find anything. She then went to his Study and peeped in. She was disappointed as she found him engrossed in his work. He looked very composed; there were no signs of anger or frustration which she had seen the previous night.

He noticed her, ‘Come inside, why are you standing out there?’

She nodded and entered, ‘Are you not going to work today?’       

‘No, I was feeling tired. You know what happened last night.’  He smiled at her and sneezed.

She helplessly looked at him and he caught her stare.

‘But looks like, you want me to go to work.’

‘No…. No…. why would I want that?’ She was quick to defend herself.

He observed her a moment. ‘So, anything you want from me?’

‘No, I just came to see you.’ She again babbled without giving a thought to what she spoke.

He stared at her with doubts but to her relief, he did not ask her further on that.

 ‘Fine, you can help me with my work if you want.’

‘I don’t know anything about all this.’ And she turned quickly to the exit.

‘You don’t need a reason to be in this room.’ He almost shouted.

 ‘Fine, I stay back, give me something to do.’

He asked her to check some documents. She made herself busy in that and eagerly waited for him to go out of the room.

After some time, her prayers were answered.

His cell phone rang; he talked to someone and looked at her. ‘I am going out, shall be late in the evening. Please lock this room when you leave.’

Her eyes brimmed and she gave a soft smile to him. He was confused by her smile but then he went out without saying a word to her.

Immediately she closed the door of his Study and started searching everywhere. Her intuition guided her eyes and she looked at every corner. Suddenly she found one of the cupboards locked. YES! This is what probably she was looking for!

She took out the keys from the drawers of his table and started trying out keys one by one. She couldn’t believe her luck when one key opened up the lock of the cupboard. Quickly she searched inside and could find a bunch of photographs. She grabbed them and glanced one by one. They were Nihar’s marriage photographs. He looked happy in those photographs, so was Radhika. For a moment she was jealous. Apart from photographs, she found many greeting cards, date wise organized and then she saw one more packet. Quickly she opened it up and found a wedding attire, probably of Radhika she thought.

She kept all the things back and sat on the floor, thinking hard, to understand what she had seen. ‘Why Nihar has kept all her memories so preciously if what Mohit says is true. What shall I believe? What my eyes are seeing or what they are not seeing? The danger I am sensing, my sixth sense is warning me each second….!’

She then opened the table drawers to keep the keys back but while closing the drawers her eyes got stuck on a diary. She couldn’t control her inquisitiveness, took it out and opened it.

She flipped through the pages, could recognize his handwriting. She noted the date, which was of five years back, by which she concluded that they were probably written after her death. There were short notes written randomly to Radhika.  As she started going through them one by one, tears started flowing. She wanted to read through all but then suddenly she heard a faint sound. Quickly she kept the diary back in the drawer. She returned to her chair and pretended to be deeply engrossed with her work.

He was surprised to find her, ‘You still here?’

‘Yes, I am done, almost!’ She replied.

He looked at her flushed face for some time. ‘Are you well?’ 

‘Yes, perfectly fine.’ She smiled broadly to convince him, gave him the documents and hurriedly left, scared of her emotions giving away.

Rakhi Sunil Kumar

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