Being Together

I am presently 72 years of age. My knee joints and spinal cord pain have restricted my movements and I am not moving out of the house.  I am using pain relief creams, sprays and painkiller tablets. I am a diabetic, blood pressure and had a bypass heart surgery.  I regularly consult doctors- physician, heart specialist, ortho and kidney specialist, and use the medicines suggested by them. The doctors advise using painkiller tablets sparingly as they have side effects. My health condition is gradually deteriorating after I retired from active service life.

My wife is 70 years of age. She is in good health except for her knee joint pain. She recently tried foot reflexology therapy and the pain is reduced. She also uses Ayurvedic oils for relief. With these therapies, she can carry out daily household work.

We are members of a spiritual organization. We daily do exercises and meditation in the morning and evening as per their training.

Our son joined a software company after completing his B. Tech and working in the USA. We wanted to get him married but he wanted to do MS in Computer Science and after that, he wanted to settle into the job. He got married in his early thirties; they have a son of 3 years.

Our daughter-in-law is pregnant for the second time.  Our son requested his mother to take care of our daughter-in-law during this pregnancy. Our daughter-in-law’s mother is bedridden due to age-related issues, hence unable to go to the USA. 

My son asked both of us to come to the USA. The air travel to New York takes almost 24 hours with a break for four to five hours at New Delhi or Mumbai airport and thereafter 16 hours in the plane. We travel in economy class.  Sitting 16 hours at a stretch is a strenuous one. Collecting the luggage and coming out of the airport takes another hour. After that, it is a two-hour journey to my son’s place by car.  I did not venture this time because of my health issues. Hence my wife went to the USA.

This is the first time I and my wife are living separately. All these years, we never lived separately. On all my job transfers she always stayed with me.

It is three months since my wife left for the USA. I stayed with my other daughter who lives in Hyderabad.  My daughter and son-in-law are looking after me very well. They both are working. They leave for the office at 9.30 am and return by 6.30 pm. My grandson is doing BTech in Bangalore and my granddaughter is studying in Inter. She is always busy with her studies, and discussions with her classmates. I will be alone reading spiritual books and daily newspapers.

I missed my wife very much. She used to remind me of my medicines at regular times. I am presently missing some of the medicines.  In these three months, my health has gradually deteriorated and my knee joint pain has increased.

I and my wife spent time together playing cards or carrom board. She had undergone two major operations: one for kidney stones and the other for cancer. She gets up early in the morning at about 5.30 am and starts cooking. We both take tea together. Then I start my walking exercise. I do my walking at home only. I do not venture to go out as I am a heart patient. We regularly do our meditation practice. On Sundays, there will be online meditation programs in the morning which we attend. After that, I go through WhatsApp messages and she does her Gayatri mantra recitation.

Daily we used to see two serial stories after lunch and two in the evening each one of half an hour duration on TV.  I do not like the dragging of a serial to several extended episodes without much progress in the story.  Sometimes the character actors suddenly change and new faces enter. We differ on these serials. My wife sympathizes with the difficulties of the main female character.  The producers seem to have difficulty with actors for long-duration serials. The night TV programs start at 9 pm news after dinner followed by some entertainment programs up to 10.30 pm, then we go to sleep.

Night sleep is intermittent but continues to give rest to the spine and the body.  This way we used to spend our time together.

When now she is in the USA, I am finding it difficult to concentrate on TV serials. I am unable to spend time alone. I feel very lonely. Every Saturday my son telephones on WhatsApp at about 7 pm. It is morning time for them. I talk sometimes with my son and then with my wife. The talk is limited to general enquiry about climate and health issues. I cannot express my loneliness in such talks but my wife understands.

Though I continue writing, my mind gets blank and ideas do not flow. Hence my writing is not progressing. All of a sudden, I developed numbness on my left side. I was afraid that it might lead to paralysis. My son-in-law took me to the physician. The doctor advised MRI Scan and it was found there are some blocks in my blood vessels in my mind. The doctor advised admission into ICU. It was a big problem for my daughter and son-in-law to look after me in the hospital. After one week of observation and medicines, I was discharged. I told my son-in-law not to inform my wife in the USA as I am doing well now on medicines.

Our daughter-in-law delivered a baby girl.  My wife is taking care of her and the newborn baby, and after two months my wife returned.  We went to receive her at the airport. I felt happy on seeing her. My son-in-law and daughter carried her bags and put them in the car boot.  She brought me a sweater from the USA which my son purchased. It suits me. She knows my size. That night we were together on the bed.

She said, “Why are you in a hurry”, and put her hand on me and came close to me. I am happy and relieved of all my problems.

Prabhakar Musipatla